In a relationship mismatch often observed by couples' therapists, one partner exhibits a fear of or inability to create intimacy or closeness with the other. He or she actively creates emotional, communicative, or even physical distance from his or her partner. Therapists often refer to this individual as a "distancer." Distancers are often afraid of being engulfed or controlled by their partners. They fear rejection, vulnerability, and dependence. Stop Running from Love presents a clear, step-by-step approach distancers can use to move beyond their fear of intimacy and start building strong and lasting relationships.
Exercises and self-evaluations in the book help you become aware of how you operate in romantic relationships. You'll review and reassess your relationship patterns, deciding what changes you want to make. You'll then commit to actions that can make it happen. Since distancers often externalize their problems in relationships, transferring blame for relational problems onto their partners, the book works to help them give up the illusion that they can change others. Instead, it shows them how to engage with their partners to create a positive new relationship dynamic.
